I had a realisation today. As Tiny was picking out a perfectly coordinated dress and pair of leggings, I thought to myself "Wow. This outfit is going to look BORING." It was a nice enough dress and leggings but I actually would have put them together myself. I'm hardly pushing boundaries right now.
Then I looked at the dress and the label still inside and I remembered. I've never worn this dress. It's pretty, it's exactly the sort of thing I'd normally wear but I'd intended to send it back. It has this one feature. Just one small panel down the front of the skirt that I had decided, without more than a moments thought, would draw too much attention to my belly. So I put it away and and shoved it to the back of the wardrobe with no intention of ever finding it again. That is until this morning when a fresh pair of eyes saw it. Innocent young eyes of a boy who doesn't see body shame. He just sees mummy and a pretty flowery dress.
We got to the high street, sat down in the barbers and I let go of the cardi, And do you know what happened? NOTHING. People talked about their music. A father and son shared a joke. And I got caught up in the excitement with my son.
So today my outfit isn't outrageous, but it's a breakthrough. Today, I let go. I let someone else pick a dress I never would have worn and nothing bad happened. Tiny has no idea how liberating this challenge is turning out to be. I'm so grateful.
