100 Happy Days - #100happydays

Those of you who know me will already know that I'm a bit of a grumbly arse.

I suffer from chronic depression with bouts of severe depression and social anxiety. I am also a stay at home mum to a very lively toddler and twins who are learning to walk. Don't get me wrong its the best job in the world but it means I have no time to be alone or to gather my thoughts. Ever. So generally speaking I'm a bit frustrated and an overwhelmed moany old cow.

With this in mind, tomorrow I will join the 100 Happy Days project. I will capture one moment every day that makes me smile. My hope is to record these moments and train my brain to recognise glimmers of positivity and realise that things really aren't all bad. I'm seeing this as a form of therapy. CBT for crabby old me.

If you would like to keep up with my progress, please check my Instagram for daily photo updates and check back on the blog for a round-up every 7 to 10 days.

You can also keep an eye on Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook for regular updates.

Are you taking part in 100 Happy Days? Please comment with a link to your blog/IG/twitter so I can see how you're getting on!

Katt xo

#OMCZ 28: Heels

So here we are again for another OMCZ. This fortnight's theme was chosen by Mary:

"I know that heels make our feet hurt and sometimes is quite difficult to walk however, is there anything more stylish than a woman in high heels?
You may have a simple dress and no accessories but if you put your heels on you will be the most elegant girl in the room so ladies I want to see your heels!!"

I love shoes but nearly never wear heels. The last time I wore heels was on my wedding day two years ago. Even then I took them off as soon as I arrived at the reception and changed into a pair of converse. (Ohhh I love my converse!)
I do have a few pairs of heely shoes however. Most are chunky or short heels but I thought I'd get out my skinny heels for this challenge. Poor things have been boxed away for yonks.

The "I need to dress up my skinny jeans" heels.

The Valentines/Christmas heels.

As you can see, I always wear my heels with a pair of tights (unless they're peep toe, but I generally go for full coverage).
How do you wear your heels?

Take a look at the other Outside My Comfort Zone contributions from these gorgeous gals:

Natalie http://awheelbarrowfullofstyle.blogspot.co.uk/
Nikki http://www.nattynikki.com
Becky Brown http://www.doesmyblogmakemelookfat.com
Mary  http://www.marysbigcloset.blogspot.pt
Hollie Http://www.prettybigbutterflies.com
Erin http://erinslittlebigcorner.blogspot.co.uk/
Debz http://www.wannabeprincess.co.uk/
Stephanie http://www.seeingspots.co.uk/
Becca http://thegirlwiththeplait.blogspot.co.uk/
Rebs http://sullen-hearts.blogspot.co.uk/
Katt http://acurvycupcake.blogspot.co.uk/
Leah www.justmeleah.co.uk
Mookie http://muki7x7.blogspot.co.uk/
Betty http://www.bigfatbetty.com/
Danielle www.daniellerharris.com
Beverly www.thecurvyword.com
Sam http://fattyboomtatty.blogspot.co.uk/
Gillian www.weegillie.com
Sarah http://plussizeproud.wordpress.com/
Abi http://aisforabi.blogspot.co.uk/

Primarni Haul

As mentioned in my previous post, I found myself in Primark once again. I am both proud of myself for managing to spend under £25 but also kicking myself for not getting a couple of things.

This is my little stash.

Pale pink cardi (20), Foxy night tshirt (22-24),
hair bits, earphones, sunglasses, skinny waist belt

I had to put back the gorgeous light pink satchel style handbag and THOSE maternity leggings I picked up. Sooo comfy but I just don't have enough money this month. It's hubs' birthday and my eldest babys birthday at the end of March. Expensive times.

I'm getting a refund from a New Look return next week so maybe I'll go back when that's cleared.

Primark Public Service Announcement

Good afternoon my lovelies,

Please excuse the formatting of this post for I am sat in Costa (in LEEDS! I've never been here before), posting from the app on my phone. I just need to get excited for a moment...

Primark have a maternity range.
Yes! I know! I didn't know either until today!

Now, my twins were evicted from my belly nine months ago. So why am I getting excited? There are two reasons.

1) As we all know, Primark mostly only caters for those under a size 20. So when I saw the maternity range I wondered about the shape and whether my size 22-24 belly would benefit from the extra bump space.

I chose a daisy print swing dress to try on and went for the 20. It was so generous I needed a belt to gather the fabric and take away the tent look. This dress is made of a medium weight jersey cotton with a lot of stretch so I could have sized down a couple of sizes. Where was this dress when I was preggers?!

From the changing room

I also tried on some maternity leggings (not pictured). I like my leggings to stop at my bra so maternity bellywarmers are perfect. The size 20 gave me baggy knees so I went for an 18. And guess what! They are completely opaque! At only £4 they're a complete bargain.

2) The second reason I think we can get excited about the maternity range? Hopefully if the company are starting to broaden their horizons and make clothes for pregnant ladies, maybe... just maybe, plus sizes will be next.
We can but hope.

An Explanation.

Its been a while since I updated my corner of the internet. I'm not one for making excuses but I feel I should explain. I don't feel like I'm looking for words of encouragement but subconsciously maybe I am. Why else would I feel so compelled to write this?

If you're looking for fat fashion tonight, I am sorry to disappoint. Tonight is more personal than I ever thought I'd be in a public forum.

I've suffered with mental health issues since I don't know when. Some time between the ages of 11 and 14. It's hard to know what was hormones and what was something else I guess. But it seemed apparent that most of the issues stemmed from depression. There were a lot of years of self hatred, self harm, recovery and relapse. I thought,  after I beat post-natal depression in 2011, that I knew how my head worked. I felt that I was in control. I am not. I only know how to help myself through post-pregnancy depression. The "other" depression is a different beast. It's much more difficult to understand. With post-partum issues the second time around I could always pinpoint a cause, find a solution, look to the light at the end of the tunnel. With the other kind It's not related to an event. There is no light and no reason. And that's where I am currently. I am being picky. Snappy. I want to retreat into myself but I can't and I feel so exposed. I am on the brink of tears 24 hours a day and if anyone asks what is wrong I get so angry at myself, for the only honest answer I can give is

"I Don't Know."

I was on a roll. I had a good streak of 17 months with only one blip in October-December last year. But I fixed that.

This time? This time I'm the happiest I've been in years but I'm so low that it aches in that hollow space that's opened up inside. It's migraine inducing and I don't know why because I'm HAPPY.

So that's where I am. Happy and depressed. I've never felt this before. It adds a whole extra level of frustration and confusion and right now I'm dealing with it while living under the roof of my in-laws, with two babies and a toddler taking up all my time, love and headspace.

I hope this is another short blip. But until I can drag myself out of this hole I can only apologise for the lack of updates and ask you to please be patient. I'm still here. I'm just taking a back seat until I'm fixed again.

Love,
Katt xo

Dress for 99p? Thanks Yours Clothing!

Warning: if you're on a no spend month, stop reading!

The wonderful Debz over at The (Not So) Secret Diary Of A Wannabe Princess has brought to my attention a fantastic offer from Yours Clothing that has me a little excited. It's too good not to share!

I'm not going to lie; I squealed, rushed over to the website, picked my dress and placed an order without checking whar was already in my basket so I spent more than 99p. Oops! Even so, what a bargain these dresses are.

It's not clear how long this offer is available for so get your skates on as they're selling fast!

CLICK HERE for 99p dresses. GO GO GO!

Have you or will you order anything?



NB: To qualify you will need to enter your email address for their mailing list. You can unsubscribe from this. There is also a p&p charge of £3.99 (or more for next day/nominated day delivery).

OOTD: Scruffy Chic

Ok so there's nothing chic about this look. I should probably follow other bloggers in having sleek hair and beautiful makeup... But I'm secretly waiting for scruffy bedhair to make a comeback. I'm totally ok with looking a bit (a lot?) bedraggled on a lazy day like today.

Shrug, belt, leggings: Yours Clothing

Dress: Everything5Pounds

Shoes: Converse